My 6 highs in Vietnam

And finally, here it is... (very many days late)

With 3 other travel companions - armed with our maps and U.S dollars and confusing 'Dong's (Viet currency) -, we braved the 'motorbike-infested' streets of Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, walked till our legs ache, shop till our hands are full, visit so many museums till we slept in the show reel theatre, eat till our stomachs are bloated, play bridge and laugh till the next door hotel mate complained. Here are my 6 top listed 'High'lights from the trip.

High no. 1: Sky High (not the superhero movie we caught on the cable tv at the hotel room)


The literal high.. heh heh heh.. There's just this thing about flying I love. When the plane takes off, it feels as if you're leaving all your woes behind.
I get closer to the infinite sky and everything looks so tiny below. Then when I rose above the wispy low-lying clouds, beneath them I could see the never-ending seas with the rising sun's golden rays reflected beyond the horizon. And just above me, yet another blanket of denser clouds form an illusioned ceiling. For a moment, I fantasized that I'm 孫悟空 (monkey god) and I could ride on the 抖筋雲 (magic cloud), walk on the clouds and sail the skies. 天塌下來當被蓋. (should the sky fall, it will be my blanket.) heh heh.

Apart from my wild imagination, seeing pretty wonders like that assure me that heaven must be a beautiful place. =)


High no. 2: The Adrenaline High (from crossing the roads)

If you can cross the road in Ho Chi Minh, you can cross any roads in the world.

The motorcycles in Vietnam are merciless, they appear everywhere. Narrow streets, sidewalks, even against traffic(flow, lights, etc).. Forget road courtesy. When crossing roads, the more you give way, the higher chance of an accident you'll create.

Rule of thumb when crossing the roads in HCM: CHEONG ar...!
Adrenaline rush I tell you..

High no. 3: FOOD (what else?)


Ooh la la.. Alcoholic ice cream cake with mint centre topped with chocolate syrup. I've long forgotten about my two best friends (Ben & Jerry) back at home or anywhere else out of Vietnam.

Dessert aside, their coffee is... mmmmmmm... 'pang' and 'gao gao' (fragrant and rich), absolutely aphrodisiacal (by the way, that's another of the properties of coffee beside being just a 'perk-me-up'). Other than that, most Vietnamese dishes are pretty exotic (note: I say 'exotic') with lots of greens and some guts to try whatever that may not look as appetizing. I decided to try a 'carrot-beetroot-celery-plus-dunno-what-not' juice on our dinner the 1st night out in hopes that it'll help my digestion. It worked. More or less, 2 days later... hahaha.. Oh, or maybe that was from the accumulated weird veggies we ate at the 'popiah' stall and all the other places. Always remember to arm yourself with hand sanitizer whenever you drop by any food stall, you never know when you'll have to use your hands. Honestly, screw food hygiene. Try the food au naturale. Do you honestly wanna know what goes on in the kitchen? Heh heh heh. And of course I shan't forget the Vietnamese pho noodles. It's like kuey teow noodles but softer, finer and smoother. The meat may be tough but the soup more than made up for it. Spice things up with the 'deceivingly-harmless-looking-big-cut-chilli' which tastes hotter than the chilli padis, I never fail to empty the last drop of soup in my bowl. *Slurrrp...

Oh well, nothing goes wrong with chilli. It induces endorphins leading to a sense of happiness and well being. The 'high' one gets from chilli makes it addictive which explains why I can't get enough of it. There, you have my secret to happiness and 'high'.


High no. 4: Foot Reflexology

I'm never much of a spa or massage person... but this is really the 'tai-tai' way of enjoying life. Especially after all the days of shopping and walking and shopping and walking and scaling the 4 stories of stairs at least twice daily up to our rooms, crawling the Cu Chi tunnels with doubly-bent backs and bags. When one gets so darn tired, a good ole massage feels so darn 'shhhiOok'. Woohoo~.


High no. 5: Knowledge (A bit irrelevant... but visiting museums to learn Vietnam history is one of the main things we did)


After all the museum trips, I won't exactly say I know all about the Vietnam war. Truth is, I'm actually still pretty clueless. But this much I know... In her struggle for independence, Vietnam has been through incessant battles against foreign powers. The war that ruins many lives, ebbs away men's integrity to turn them into killing machines who had no regard for another's life. Repercussions from the war runs deep on the Vietnamese till today with the chemical bombs and mines that are still hidden.
It seemed like this statement was put up in mockery of the Declaration because apparently the Americans, with their superior weaponry, were on a merciless torture and killing rampage who showed no regard for innocent civilians during the war. (or so it's portrayed in the museum) That having said, I refuse to be a victim of propaganda because the harm is done both ways and there are always the flip side to things.

The vehicles, weapons, places, photographs, all serve as evidence which I, as the oblivious city kid, find hard to turn away from. After witnessing the accounts of cruelty acts from war, the atmosphere of our little holiday grew heavy. The last part of the 'War Remnants Museum' leads the visitors to drawings done by Vietnamese kids in hope for a better tomorrow does little to lift my spirit. Perhaps this explains the Vietnamese's simple way of life. Because with the remnants of the war so close, every day that comes by in peace may be a blessing to them.


And of course, the knowledge attained from all these mind-bogging museum trips made me realise how lucky I am and how damn grateful I should be. Here's toast to living life intensely and let that be another 'high'.


High no. 6: Shopping (heh heh heh.. but the one and only happiest shopping would be this)
Before Hai Ba Trung street, we walked and shopped and walked and shopped till our legs were sore and my spirit flagged from all the relentless search of 'not-so-real' sport-branded tops for friends. Through the mountain of clothes, I couldn't see any tops to the slightest resemblance of the one that I desire.

And then...

oh dang. wrong photo.... I'm sorry. I left Singapore sad and distracted, knowing that Djokovic has missed his run for the medal at the Shanghai Masters Cup, and recalling the moment that I missed his shirt at vivocity's Adidas. That regret I've carried with me ever since. Till...

TADAH~! (photo courtesy of LSR, director of photography and model-posing)

FWAHAHAHAHAA. Further down Hai Ba Trung street on our very long journey to the popiah place tang recommended, I saw this official Adidas boutique and I perked up instantly. The moment I stepped into the shop, my eyes were scanning for that elusive shirt. And 'DING DING' it was right there staring at me. I screeched and jumped up literally (maciam school girl chasing idol). I was SOOOoo HAPPY! I found the shirt!!! It kept me grinning all the way back to the hotel. This ought to top my list of the Highest high. =)

Nevermind that it's on sale at 30% off in Singapore's adidas boutiques now... My shirt is specially air-flown from Vietnam. So it's different. Heh Heh Heh. If I ever go on a trip to watch the Grand Slam tournament live, there is only one shirt that I'll be wearing. (Speaking of which, Australia Open is coming!! Yey!)
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I'd like to thank KL my roommate for taking care of me, Mei Ya for her excellent bargaining skills to seal the best deals at Ben Thien Market, and Tang for organising the day-to-day itinerary. And of course everyone has a part to play for making the 4 kahs to play bridge in the middle of the night and laugh till we roll. Now Vietnam no more... so where's the next destination?

Batam, here I come... eee-haaa~^

sitting, waiting, drifting

Just one of those days spent wondering is this where I should be right now? There must be something more. I need sleep and some indulgent lazy days to recharge and propel me forward, not endless drifting days. I want to sleep proper in my own bed and snooze till the afternoons, lie on the couch read a good book and watch scv.

oh.. and maybe find time to blog for a bit... within the time constraints now at my work place, I will do the post no justice if I attempt to blog proper now. (actually I'm just lazy to think la..) Too many things I wanted to say... then as time passes by, it didn't really mattered anyway. The past has passed. I'll reminicise it under better conditions another time. You are forewarned about the next long-winded post.

Time to close shop. Goodbye is not forever. (but fats is.. or so says ah!bang)

Djokovic, tennis, vietnam and everything else...

I think it's a wrong time for me to go Vietnam leh.. missing 3 coaching sessions, that's quite some money I'm not earning. But of course, it's nothing as compared to the money Djokovic's not making out of the matches from the Masters Cup. (He didn't win any matches out of the round robin format in the masters cup.) But it's his debut for the cup la.. The 2006 best improved tennis player has had a huge season, jumping from Top 100 to world no. 3 in a course of 2 short years, played over 100 matches for this year's season alone, so cut him some slack. He's gonna have ample rest, plan his schedule next season properly and give the world no. 1 (aka Roger Federer) a run for his life. Heh heh.. psst... I dreamt about him this morning. HAHA. No, not a wet dream. It's a very innocent and 'we-had-a-connection' kind of dream.


ATP's report on Djokovic

Well.. if you really wanna know (not as if it's your say at this point.. I just wanna tell my story). I dreamt that it was one of those National Team functions I had to attend along with the opens. And Novak Djokovic was invited. So there he was sitting at our table next to me and we were happily chatting away. I asked him about the masters series and so forth, he's impressed with my knowledge of the games. WAHAHAHA. Damn, I shouldn't have woken up from that dream. Now, I really want that shirt of his. I saw it at Vivocity's Adidas the other time. But I bet it's long gone by now. I do hope he auctions his shirt off somewhere. I'm willing to trade Navarro's shirt for his.

(Can't believe I didn't buy this shirt @ Vivo then.. why o why??)

Also, I'm missing the Masters Cup semifinals and finals. I do hope they have SCV over in Vietnam. HAHA. People spend money go overseas travel and sightsee, I go the hotel room there watch tv. HAHA. Lagi best. Unless they have pubs that broadcast live tennis matches. please let there be many many tennis fans there...

Shanghai Masters Cup

Oh shudap already. Going overseas still complain so much. Ok lar, quite excited to experience a different culture. Been sometime since I visited another southeast asian country (except m'sia). Next time I'll go Shanghai catch the Masters Cup live. And Djokovic will be in the finals then. (In the professionals' game, consistency is key... and that comes with experience. Djok's only starting off.) =)

"All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go..." (not really... but I am leaving on a Jet(star) plane.) =P


P/S: If anything happens to me over there (choi ge lei), I love my family. And sorry daddy I'm so pissy. (like Roddick in the match against Federer today. wahhahaha) And all my other friends, you know I love you. (kel, I'll still will you my guitar. everyone else gets 1% of my pathetic savings in the bank.) Wahaha. pray, pray.

one one one one one one

Wherever and whoever you are, you have 4 more years to appear in my life. Wahahahhaha.

Ain't it a beautiful day? A wonderful date to be reborn too. I put aside my pride and took a leap of faith today. And I do hope I'm here to stay. =)

Once again in November, I'm reminded of how loved I am. No big birthday bash this year but many many small simple gatherings instead though that doesn't mean there's any lack of surprises. It's another very long long birthday celebration marked with many eventful and happy moments that I'll never forget. =) I'm exhausted but filled with utter joyous satisfaction.

Last Sunday I went KY all happy and satisfied enough (and a little sheepish for being late) then suddenly, I cried so much, I was surprised at myself. Something took over, I simply let loose of my emotions and sobbed and sobbed.. (even though I didn't really thought I had anything much to wail about in the first place) After which, I felt very much at peace. It's honestly therapeutic like what D said. The day's sermon was about faithfulness - despite my skepticism and uncertainty, I was genuinely touched. I think perhaps I'm so prideful... many times, I look without seeing, hear without properly listening. (perhaps that explains why I'm half deaf and blind -literally-.) On the day forth, I told myself to keep an open mind to the possibilities, to give myself a chance to get to know God if he's really there. I left church with a renewed sense of energy and feeling that I have the ability to do something more. I didn't think there is any bad in believing what's good so I'm keeping the faith. After all, who dares to dispute that I'm not a blessed individual?

The same night, I met up with the few 'older'(HAHAHA) friends at a very special and cosy jap restaurant where one dish is cooked at a time and served individually almost half an hour apart. Actually it's authentic homecooked jap food by this one jap woman and everything from food to the icecream dessert is prepared by herself so I'm not complaining. My unagi was too good (food's the only other way to keep my mouth busy and shut me up). We could make all the noise we wanted and I was given a teacup for being the birthday girl so that's another ten points for service. Plus, I needn't pay for the meal (although that's nothing to do with the restaurant). Heh heh heh. I say thank 'YOU' (you know who you are la) for the voucher or else I wouldn't have the prettiest watch in the world...


A 'Le Petit Prince' watch. =)
.."On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur, l'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux." (It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye)..
It's a beautiful story I came to know since a long way back.. (*winks at moZ -and Zpig, of course-)

And I have ms LSR to thank for running all over the place with me to search for the perfect one... (the watch design, that is.) Gracias, gracias.

O, and I specifically demanded my family to keep monday night free and countdown for me at home. WAHAHAHAH. (and being the idiot I am, I made use of the opportunity over dinner to tell my dad off cause I was bitter about him sponsoring the full cost of our family overseas getaway even for my sister's boyfriend.. ok, so shut up already.) I learnt to let that go la.. I love Daddy too much to put up with my insolence. So all's well for the celebration countdown in the night. As usual, my dearest second sis did the cleaning up and stuff after even though she doesn't stay with us anymore. Thanks jie. O. And for tortee the turtle cushion that she and bro-in-law-Dan gave me. I like. The fur feels like Dovey's without all the hyperactivity. =)

A somewhat different wish this year.
I love my family.
Dovey maciam b'day center of attraction here.

And on official Tuesday the 6th, after purchasing my pricey prince watch, Kel, LSR & I headed down to ECP to cycle in the light drizzle in effort to burn off fats from hong kong cafe's food and secret recipe's banana choc cake. Perfect day, I say. Kel bought me a shirt from Clique that says, "Diets start tomorrow".. What can be more appropriate? I've been eating like a cow since Sunday night. And ms LSR of course shows off her creative skills by surprising me with the C-R-A-Z-Y birthday card. CRAZY, i say. haha. I like crazy. Look at it.. You'll know why.

Justine aside, who can go wrong with me and a half-naked Djokovic appearing together on the same cover? Ooo-la-la...


Makan time

Cycle khakis.

And after we went over to marina square to find Z thrillogists and we ate Azabu Sabo's icecream desserts together. Sedap, I tell you. Gorgeous, orgasmic, tantalising... So good that Venezia's yogurt flavored icecream nearly lost its top placing in my heart. Even looking at it makes me salivate...

Delightfully delicious...

We, the thrillogists, head to watch our usual favorite genre of movies - fantasy & magic - (actually, only just me 'cos of HP and Zpig 'cos of LOTR).. moZ is there to make sure that our imagination don't get ahead of us. Stardust is really nice, and funny.. unexpected and wittily funny. I like. And then, the thrillogists fulfilled the prophecy of the stars once again by buying something I really appreciate, something to admire the amazing lights in the sky with... (I can honestly ready myself to be an astronomer from their gifts each year)
Now the only problem is to put it together and make it work.

The long long day it's been and I got home at 11odd pm, was prepared to get online and help D with something as requested then hit the sack... then D suddenly appeared at my room door with En, Ian, Ruth, and Kirk! Imagine my surprise.. HAHA. I was filled with utter gleeeeeeeeeee (and it's not 'cos of the munchy donuts). HEEE. So happy and of course surprised 'cos half of them have never been to my place before. And I honestly doubt my dad remembers seeing any of them ever but he let them in anyway. HAHAHAHA. Apparently, my dad had a lot of questions for the only mister that came along. Our youth pastor is the only male friend of mine that has set foot in the house by far... naturally my dad will be.. er.. concerned. HAHAHA. This was just a pleasant pleasant surprise for me. So unexpected. I'm so happy, I still can remember the feeling now. Thanks D for the surprise (as it is for many others as well.. =P ), I really love it. Can't remember if I had the sweetest dreams but I had a good sleep without the Birkenstock sandals under the pillow. Thanks En for that. =)

Wednesday night I was off to JB with Cheryl, Daries and their friend for the best pepper crab, chicken wings and tapioca leaves veg that I've ever had. The pepper crab was so good, I almost swallowed the shell whole. Chicken wings were first grilled then half fried and coated with honey so as to attain a crispy texture on the outside, juicy and fragrant on the inside. I never tasted anything like that before. Even punggol nasi lemak's chicken wing is a far cry. And the veg dish was well stirred with garlic to enhance it's flavor.. I never thought I'll enjoy other veg dish besides kangkong - and this is better than kangkong, honestly. Wah piang.. can write one whole paragraph about food. hehehe. Then of course in the sleek SAAB, not reaching speed of 200km/h is a crime in the forsaken highway of m'sia (just make sure you give me enough time to belt up before you step the pedal to the metal).

And comes Thursday... where I was suppose to meet Inky at Swensons and then a whole bunch of the TK gang turned up. =) another pleasant surprise. So honored and happy to have friends doing such things for me. Haven't seen monkey, Qi & XJ for quite some time already. Inky, I love the pendant you gave me. I'm glad everyone have the heart to want to celebrate my 22nd birthday with me, belated or not. Although Langx2 and Rach always like to tease me la.. but I appreciate you people for bringing joy to my life. Thank you for putting the surprise together. Sorry I had to leave early for work.. (bo bian.. double pay $12/hr is a money making opportunity I couldn't miss) And I had a very eventful day at work as well. =)

And on Saturday.. it's time to celebrate for my dearest PAPA instead. As usual, he booked the CC under those HDB block to sing.. but this time is closed door affair and exclusive invitations only to our relatives.. so many of us (good singers or not) picked up the mike and started our KTV session. My dad certainly won't miss the chance to show off his vocal chords. My cousins and I had loads of fun just making a fool out of ourselves. By the end of the day I was deadbeat (from Nike's first official training as well) but I still nge si want to play mahjong and ended up falling asleep on the table. Lucky didn't lose money only.

So we come to the big 11/11 today. A full four years before 'you-know-what'... yet today's date signify something else of more importance. I want to grow more in faith and learn of the bigger things that I'm meant to do in life. Words are only words until I decide to take action.


P/S: somewhere along the way the past week, I cleared subject 25 and managed to book my traffic police test date on the 29th Feb and I haven't yet got into an accident. So yea~

P/P/S: thanks nypians for the post b'dae celebration today though not quite official. thank you grace for the verses. =)


Ok. Enough of thank yous already. Not academy award. I is sleepy. Good night, gracias.

grow with experience, keep the essence

Gee.. damn I'm tired of blogging sob stories. At times when I'm feeling just good enough, the sad posts have the potential to pull me down. Last thing I want would be to dampen the mood of my friends any further, when what I need is their support to pull me up.

And I realised that indulgent moods have a tendency to go in a circle. Sometimes people just keep falling in the same hole. Really ought to slap oneself in the face for a wake up call. Why torture yourself this way?

Pain is inevitable, misery is CHOICE.

Sincerity to others is important. And so are the choices we make. To make the best decision, we have to acquire wisdom from our own experiences. Hence, each pain we go through, each challenge we meet, only serves to help us in the future. Everybody goes through different experiences, thus we make different choices given the same scenario. What's best in your opinion may not be what's best in mine. And yet our differences is what makes us so special and from each other, we learn more.

To acquire my wisdom, -my acceptance of things-, I wouldn't wish for life any other way. So bring it on and I'll brave it through. If I ever change, I promise you one thing...

I'll still love food as much. MUAHAHAHAHAHA.. (and if you accept the way I am, you'll always be my friend.)


"Chiquitita you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita"


P/S: Thank you for a wonderful dinner. In this ever-changing world, thank you for reminding me that what we share is true.

Dumbledore gay?

Link:TODAY article
Link:Detailed transcript from fansite

hmmm... I was wondering if J.K Rowling was joking. Then... the more I thought about it.. the more plausible it seemed. Dumbledore was meant to be a complicated character anyway and homosexuality gives rise to many complex issues - tolerance, values, social concerns. etc. Having said that.. it doesn't really changed my perspective or liking for the series. Love, ultimately, in whichever form, is still love. And I thought Rowling passed the startling information almost like a casual remark. So I think avid fans shouldn't read too much into it, especially if it's going to spoil the enjoyment of re-reading the books.

I'm just amused at how a supposed children's book has evolved into the story as such. The series was getting progressively darker with each book. O, the controversy this tiny piece of news is going to raise... If the books are taken off the shelves of the children's section, I'm not surprised.

Meanwhile, we should all keep an open mind and interpret the words in each lines our own way as we see like it.

Through and through, I'm still a Harry Potter fan.

=)

ignorance is bliss

innocence is underated.
change is inevitable.
happiness is acceptance.
life is beautiful.

the ties that bind

Qn: How many people does it take to change a punctured tyre?

Ans: Four. One worker to do the physical changing of tyre, one assistant to sort out the correct equipment to use, one instructor to tell us what to do, and one silent supporter to keep her hands clean so that she won't dirty the interior of the car while driving to the petrol kiosk.

It's interesting how 'coincidental' the tyre puncture happened.. As if some force out there wants us to come together and work things out. Really heartening during these curious times.
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It's through the gravest situations where people draw closer to each other. The need to know that we are not alone, and together we'll be strong enough to brave things through. We've forgotten about the ties that bind... even though we may have taken different paths. Here, we share something in common - to grieve for another in spite of the awkward circumstances. What are the appropriate questions to ask? What's the ideal response? Small talk in effort to break the ice never felt this lame. I never had the fear of inadequacy this much before and so I have learnt to keep my silence. Just the physical prescence is enough, touch of the hand for comfort speak more than the exchange of words. Melancholic reminders of the past to tell that it has been that long and so many things have changed since... This is all too real. Life is too damn short.

In contrast.. the little nitty gritty things that's been bugging me the past few months seem so small all of a sudden... Track back to the past. To the days of innocence. I found once again the simple equation to living a happy and fulfilling life. Because love first given to me is from my parents. Because the ones I fall back on at the end of the day is my family. There's no need to butter things up... and that different perspective goes a long way. When it comes down to it (despite our many disagreements), support is always there when needed.

That, I love. =)

Wonderland

Sometimes I walk fast for fear of being left behind
Maybe I don't like the view from the back
Sometimes I walk slow to clear my mind
To make sure that I stay on track
Other times I thread the fine line
No wonder life gets in a wreck

And to live my life simply
Am I to do the mundane
I just want to be happy
Damn this drive me insane
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The rock is sturdy and strong
Not swept away by waters
Stay where familiar belong
Forgo about the others

The driftwood goes with the flow
Experience turbulences
Pick up everything on tow
Risk breaking into pieces

Here I am in wonderland
Where things can't be black and white
With no idea where to stand
I hope for one to confide

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Under the same moon in starry skies
Brilliance of the night walks me home
I'm not afraid what the darkness lies
With great companion on the phone


P/S: I suck at rhymes.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." - ?

"Often we run & hide, but it doesn’t mean that we don’t secretly hope to be found." - ...

blah.

silly blunder at work. must be thick-skinned enough to acknowledge, brave enough to learn. bzzt.

So where's the good now?

I was good yesterday.
Who took my good away?

On date 30th September 2007:
I was happy today. I learnt to make Iced Mocha, Latte, Mini Pizza and Nacho Cheese. I served a few customers with my best and it made me glad to know they appreciated the service.

Unfortunately, happiness is short-lived. September 30th marks the last day of the F&B section of Clique just when it's my first time to be posted in there.

I was happy today.
Who took it away?

After bad comes good.

This, from my private vault, I once wrote to myself. And now I dedicate the same words to a dear friend.

"Once I've had enough of putting myself through this saddistic self-mutilation, I'd find the strength to brighten up from within. When things have already reached the bottom of a pit -unless I keep dwelling and digging-, things can only go uphill from here. =) Just remember life is short. (Narcissistic it may sound...) Treat yourself better 'cos you deserve no less."

Be strong.

Do the Math

Blame it on the flu. Blame it on the boredom of having spent the last 48hrs trapped at home. Blame it on the conjunction with the final year exams (not as if it really concerns me)...I'm going cranky. Thereby, resulting in this peculiar post.
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If Grace has 5 senses, and 3 (hearing, sight and smell) of them are failing. How many working senses are there left? What is the probability of her surviving the flu epidemic in this urban society?

Un/Fortunately for Grace, her most prized (at the same time, cursed) asset (aka taste) is still functioning. In order to feed herself, she works 12-9pm @ $6/hr twice a week, on top of the 'once-in-a-blue-moon' coaching (where the kids are breaking for exams in the month of September).

ASSUMING...
- Her stomach and appetite is 50% more than the ordinary person and she spends an average (over a week) of $15 on food and expenses each day she goes out of the house... (and she solely leaves home for work, thrice-a-week trainings and only meets up with friends on saturdays)
- Her coaching payment for the month of August is yet again delayed, and her new ad-hoc job's payment has not been processed...

What is the total deficit amount Grace has to ready herself for in the month of September?


Luckily for Grace, she has $y amount of money in her bank account to cushion the expenses before her August/September pay comes in. However she just paid for her driving lessons which cost $220.42, and her very overdued M1 bills which cost $20x.xx.

ASSUMING, $y<$600... and Grace keeps up her eating spree, how long will it take before she turns into a miser again.. (if she isn't already one)?


Driven to desperate measures, Grace decided one day to open up her 'La Bi Xiao Xin' piggy bank and count the number of $1 coins she so infrequently deposits into the hungry boy.

There were 3 $1-coins dated '1988', 5 $1-coins dated '1990', 2 $1-coins dated '1991', 7 $1-coins dated '1995', 13 $1-coins dated '1997', 6 $1-coins dated '2006'.
If Grace puts in all the coins back into XiaoXin, what is the probability that she will shake out a '1997' coin from the pigeon hole? When will Grace get hold of a $1-coin dated '1985'?

Grace took out 3 $1-coins dated '1997' from XiaoXin, how much is his stomach worth now? What is the probability that, in the midst of pulling the plug out of the pigeon hole from Xiaoxin's base, Grace would actually break Xiaoxin's toothbrush even though she was only using 75% of the strength she exerts during weights training? What are the chances that Grace will find the time or be bothered to glue the toothbrush back again?

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Fact 1: Taking her clumsy ways into account, there is 85% possibility that whenever Grace is around, accidents would happen. - which is part of her concern to whether she should take up driving after all as she does not wish to be a road hazard and she can save up the money at the same time.

Fact 2: Grace has spent 1/3 of her working time blogging the current post at this god-forsaken shop and she has closed 3 sales so far and she is happy.

Fact 3: The date of this post is erred so as to conceal the fact of the current location she is supposed to be at and prevent students from stalking her at her workplace.


P/S: For those who took the time to work out the sums... ... good luck to you. I do hope you manage to answer the rhetorical questions and please enlighten me in that regard where possible.

just Djo'king'

6 reasons why I love Novak Djokovic:

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1. He's one great tennis player. I was hooked when watching the US Open 2nd rd match. This man chases down every single shot and never ever gives up. You should watch him work his magic during tie-breaker games. I mean it.. he never ever ever gives up.

In a mere 3 years since he started competing in Grand Slam tournaments, he's now ranked no. 3 in the world. At 20 years of age, he's one of the youngest players to have ever entered a Grand Slam final up till this year at the US Open. I say - Roger Federer, even though he lost to you in the finals this time, you better watch your back 'cos this young man is going to catch up real soon. Who knows, by the time he's your age, he could be winning more grand slam titles already.


2. Aside from the fact that he has a great bod...



3. He's a great sport.

After a line challenge which he lost, (where the ball landed this '||' close to the line), he shrugged to the stands with a 'what-can-i-do-about-tt' expression. And kept going at his game anyway.


4. He looks goofy... - even when angry.


During the US Opens Finals, there were quite a number of ridiculous line calls against him from the chair umpire. Even I was confounded.


5. He IS goofy. - Check out his impersonations of the other tennis players. He's one good observer and actor.

This is the impersonation of Maria Sharapova and Rafael Nadal during the US Open after one of his match wins.



This is his impersonation at the Men's locker room before the Quarterfinal match. You should check out the way he mimicks Federer at the end with the hair-tossing headshake and racquet clap. Simply classic.


6. He is very much a Djoker but he sings and dances quite well too..

O well. Not on this one maybe. HAHA.



This video is a little draggy but it does showcase his singing talents just that bit better. You get to see how cute he looks in glasses at any rate.



Djokovic's 20th birthday bash.
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So now, who dares dispute that Djokovic is not cute? He may not be 10/10 on the looks department but his wacky sense of humor sure does score him full marks. Coupled with his amazing talent in tennis...


Who is Gracias's favorite tennis player?

Djokovic, of course. (sorry Justine, you've got to take a backseat on this one.)

Vindicated

I'm free of my inner demons. Finally. =)

It's probably the PMS. Those passing anguish, short tempers, very weird temperaments, impatience, and a very 'dirtier-than-usual' foul mouth... Can't recall how many times I've said 'Sai' the past few days... until I really had diarrhea.

Lucky for me, I have friends that can tahan my whines, bitching, and hot-cold temperament. I never intended to spread my distress around, but coupled with PMS, emotions sometimes just spills over the top. So paiseh ar.

Gracias, nevertheless, to those who stood around by me, physically or not, knowingly or not.

Sad-eyed Eeyore behind shielded glasses, moved by the puppeteer.


Through Eeyore and his looking glass, I'm touched.
Thank -You-.

My new idol - Djokovic

Match point finally.

Did anyone watch the US Open Men's 2nd round last night?!

It was C-R-A-Z-Y!! 4plus am and I was feeling far from sleepy even after that evening's training. And Djokovic's spirit was enough to carry me through this morning's training as well. Woohoo~.

Let me show you the stats. 5 sets over a marathon of 4hrs 45min. Djokovic vs Stepanek: 6-7(4-7), (7-5)7-6, 5-7, 7-5, (7-2)7-6.

In case you're blur.. those in brackets are the points in the tie-breakers, in event whenever there's a 6-6 game tie within a set.

Right.. but the stats alone is no where near justifying how thrilling the match was. From the moment I switched on my tv, World No. 3 seeded Djokovic was already 2 sets and one game down in the 4th playing set.. I thought it was going to be another upset by an unseeded player, Stepanek (unseeded but once ranked no. 8 long time ago).. After the morning's disappointment - (from seeing Blake push till the 5th set and not losing.. [cos i dun like americans and support underdogs in non-homegrounds]), I was determined to catch another '5-set marathon upset' in the men's 2nd round.

But as the match progressed, I found myself rooting for Djokovic even though he wasn't the underdog. After all, this was the man that recently defeated Federer in the Masters series and I think he has a higher chance of creating the biggest upset in the Finals. This man is just incredible, tons of spirit and energy. Yet, his opponent was no less.

The match had lots of fantastic winners. Great defence and rallies from both players. Lobs and shots that find the edges of the court. WAY COOL...

Read the full report below.

http://www.usopen.org/en_US/news/match_reports/2007-08-31/200708311188609019718.html

Match analysis.

The match was so exhilarating. Even when the match has ended, both players showed amazing sportsmanship and manage to muster remaining energy to congratulate each other with a big hug. Though a little gay but it was really heartening to see. This is the best tennis match I've ever watched by far. Perhaps the only match that can come close would be a 'Djokovic-upsetting-Fed' Final.

Exhausting match...

Meanwhile, September holds many surprises ahead. =)

Jit pu sai + Jit pu sai = JIT DUA PU SAI

Shit happens. I've taken shit before in life so this shit is nothing.
As the Beatles sing, "Take a sad song and make it better."
And here I am sitting my big fat ass at home "taking a sad movie and making it better".

Broadening my perspective in the still of the night by burping at strangers after a midnight bus ride, amusing myself with the rhythmic steps to the random music i was listening to, and walking with the friendly ghosts while enjoying the scenery on my way home. So far so good.

Grateful to have friends who stay around no matter what (whether in mind, in heart or in spirt - no pun intended). Thanks to all my dear friends: for the javachip & muffin - a timely arrival at my time of need, (aside from the part that I was friggin' hungry), the 'take-forever-to-upload' songs (and the 'mushier-than-campbell-mushroom-soup' exchange on msn), the thrillogist's 'sunday-plan-distraction' (whether you knew it or not), the cheesecake surprise (or rather, 'meant-to-be-a-surprise' surprise.. but thanks for the very sweet thought anyway), the lovely smses sent that give me strength (you do it so right too), the late night talk at waterfront (and for reminding me the anger management song)... and all others for your silent support - doesn't matter if I was understood. And Oppih too for your physical prescence(what will I do without you?).

Gracias forever.



Life is short. Soon I'll cease wallowing in self pity, stop giving in to my own emotions, get tired of being vindictive altogether... and live my life simply - oblivious to all the bad in the world. I am getting dark enough already (not just from the sun).

Meanwhile, I'll take a sad song and make it better.

'Till August ends.

Pensieved

gracias.

Pandora's box

Desperately wanted to put something positive here. But I can't gather the strength to. Going in circles again. Sibei jialat.

I know what I have to do. Life is short - ride the highs, sail the lows. Without the lows, there wouldn't be the highs. But I'm in a phase of "without-the-highs,-there-would-be-no-lows" mindset right now. Worry not 'cos it's only a matter of time to heal. Scars will be there to remind us of the strength we are capable of.

Like my mentor said.. "sometimes things seem difficult... but there's only one way out and that's to try to see the good it brings. nothing is ever achieved without pain. Be strong, be unshakable, be at peace. because there's so much more to life and you're loved."

Thank you. Your insight's amazing. You have no idea how your words moved me then and that how much I need them now for an entirely different matter.

I'm still in the process of building my foundations, so just a little vulnerable. At least the debris is more or less cleared.

那被!

难得我会在这里大声的嚷嚷。
突然间很想骂粗话。
突然间很想学孙悟空在世间大闹一场。
突然间很想对世界宣告我很不高興。
突然间又没有自由了。
突然间失去了心中的平静。

再突然间,又想我是不是未免太小题大做了?
有多少人多么希望能站在我的立场上。
或許我应该收敛一下.
也許這就是瑛琪所說的..."as good as it gets".

可是你不是我.
我不喜歡做後補.
我渴望的自由,你了解嗎?
已經做好的決定又要因此而改變.
想離開卻又不能走.我厭倦了這種沒有選擇的余地.
我的人生就仿彿被矇上了一片務.
永遠都看不到自己的方向.
沈巧盈, 你就永遠被人牽著鼻子走!

糖,你猜中了. 要過了幾天才能感覺到痛.雖然這跟你所說的不同.
旁觀者一定會視我作為小孩子.
"有機會就把握啊!埋怨這樣多幹嗎?"
..可是我的心已經不在了. 我已經待得不開心了.
怎能"開心就好?"

小孩子!埋怨夠了.嚷嚷夠了.
明早睡一覺起來心情一定會有改進.
明天去吹吹海風,尋找生活的另一種開心.
我的小黃臉終于能再次派上用場,重出江湖!

Aftermath

passing cars, passing clouds, passing showers... passing perth

It was never a question of ability, only the power of will.
Really wasn't whether I can or not, but all a matter of wanting or not.

As much as one comes to loving oneself, I ought to know when to give myself a hardER time.

Moving on to a bigger picture, -passing the gray clouds overhead-, to live a happier life.
=)

Perth

I like the blue sky with its vivid and contrasting clouds here.
I like the chilly breeze under the bright sun here.
I like the cold night and the pretty moon sitting just outside my balcony.

Even if things may not be working my way, I'm plain glad to be here. No high hopes for anything anyway, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to work hard still. Ought to enjoy the moment and cast away distracting thoughts. Gonna be here right now, not the past nor the future.

I love where I am.

Let go

If the troubles won't be gone today or tomorrow, it'll go away in time. Just ought to learn to treat yourself better. Of all the memories to dwell upon, why not take the happier ones to be merry about. Life is too short. If you are to map out your lifespan on a timeline, this woe will not even take up a fraction of it out of the big picture. Or to put it in another perspective, if you are to die the next moment, will you let your last memory to be an unhappy one? So why let it bog you down when there are so many beautiful things in the present to breathe and take in? Living in the non-existent is surely unhealthy.

"Pain is inevitable, misery is choice."
Unless you allow this misery to strengthen yourself, cast it away...cos you can choose not to indulge.

P/S: Must stop listening to sad soppy songs and tune in to catchy happy ones. (~Hakuna Matata - it means no worries for the rest of your days. It's our problem-free philosophy...~ Hakuna Matata.^)

Bintan Bintang

Aloha! I'm back from Bintan! Was a FANTASTIC trip. Absolutely fun fun fun!!! Did a couple of sea sports that I've never tried before. Will go into details, put up pics and a proper post when I have the time to get down to it. Meanwhile, I must prepare for the launch of the Deathly Hallows. Muahahaha. (maciam I'm some staff at borders)

Just a little sneak peek at one of my fav photos.

We are archers.
from left: Tang2, Legolass, KKKL, Mei3Ya2.

Woohoo. Don't we look cool? Right. I'm going into hibernation with my Deathly Hallows book. Till then.

snake charmer.

Dear viewers, do not attempt to try this at home. The following stunts are done by a - trained professional? -

"Hallo Hallo. Snake number 188, how are you doing in your pillowcase bag?"

At 2.30am this morning, I set off in my booties to catch snakes for a fellow friend (aka Badot)'s final year project. IT'S FRIGGIN EXCITING!! After hours of searching, wading the canal's waters and apprehension (on whether I'm prepared mentally), I finally did my virgin snake catch at 4.40am. I'm an official snake wrangler! The juvenile snake is so small and cute ar. It didn't really put up much of a struggle (if there's one at all). I think I'm a natural. Either that or it's charmed by me. Muahaha. Oh well, maybe it's cos I was trying to speak Parseltongue to it too. I'm a snake charmer. Gotta buy a flute and a basket next. I think it could make quite a part time job. Else I can join Jeff Corwin on his snake expeditions and be famous on the Animal Planet too!

It's really quite an experience honestly. I feel like a kampung kid trying to catch guppies from longangs. (Only that it ain't guppy this time.) The species that Badot is researching on is a pretty docile type of snake, Cerberus Rynchops, so I wasn't exactly attempting suicide. Though, the terrain is really tricky, and you'll never know what other nocturnal creatures looms in the dark. It kinda takes some courage to step in the murkier waters as well. If there really is a Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, I expect I'll be in placed in Gryffindor. Dumbledore would be proud.

Speaking of which, Order of Phoenix is not too bad la - caught it together with Thrillogists last night although it's a far cry from Omnitheatre's Goblet of Fire. The artistic direction of this latest installment wasn't exactly the way I imagined it, but at least it's not choppy. And this time round, the new casts are better actresses. Luna Lovegood is pretty much what I imagined her to be, Umbridge should be uglier but she's irritating enough in the movie. And need I say more about Bellatrix Lestrange (yes Hanna, I can hear you). But but, the Department of Mysteries looks more like a zen-looking toilet with gleaming black tiles than a terrifying corridor. Since when did the Dursleys renovated their house in Privet Drive? And (in Hermione's tone), honestly, was the 'London sightseeing' on broomsticks necessary? It was so corny, I couldn't finish my popcorn.

Right. Enough critic. 21st July awaits me. I shan't spoil it for you here. If you're keen to discuss a few rumours and theories with me about the Deathly Hallows, my 'HP' hotline is always on standby (o yes, you dawn too) even if I'm in Bintan.


P/S: I do Travis no justice by singing such a nice song this awful. But I is lazy to convert the original track. So bear with the noise for a bit till I come back from Bintan and do my blog changes. Parseltongue ain't easy to master at 4.40am in the morning.

HELLO POTTER

Are you counting down? 'cos I am! Lucky there's Potter to save me from the disappointments of Wimbledon. But Bartoli gives hope to all the fat asses like me in the world that one can make it big one day no matter how weird the outlook and style, as long as you have the determination. So Gracias the procrastinator shall draw inspiration from the few people I only get to meet in my dreams and work hard to outdo my slacker self. Have a good time in Perth. Hopefully.

Like what Justine says, "I just want to enjoy every moment. I don't have anything to prove to anyone."

And the melancholic yet wise words of Dumbledore, "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

Just a few more days to the movie, a few more days to the book, a few more days to Bintan and a few more days to Dawn's return. Woohoo. There's so much to look forward to. I like~. Time to put an end to the driftwood days. Thrillogists and Potter, wait for me. I may be counting down the days but I've got some catching up to do with the books.

Till his lightning scar saves another day,
ciaoz.

P/S: Too late to scare my neighbors with my off-pitch singing, so put a song tt stuck for the moment. emo song for emo kid. and i like the strings at the chorus (cello i think). 'smile like you mean it'.

Chasing Daylight

Attention: This is not a suicide note. It's just a very long entry.

Ok. So what is this insolent brat preaching about this time, I, who proclaim that I do not fear death when I've never even been close to one myself. As I post this entry inspired from a book, I'm kinda trying to avoid claims of pretending that I know death. Truth is, a part of me is afraid of the unknown. Yet, I think (and hope) that a some part of me is ready to embrace it. Since we never know what may happen next. (There's no Hiro Nakamura in real life to stop time and bring it back. FYI, he's a character from 'Heroes'. heh heh)

Perhaps due to the number of passings I've witnessed, I find myself particularly able to relate and be inspired by the book. (Or maybe the coward in me simply sees death as an escape, because I'm afraid of the uncertain future and the responsibilities it holds.) Maybe those who have been through near death experiences would utterly disagree with what I have to say and what the book narrates. Still, I feel obliged to put down this awe-inducing excerpt, from the biography Chasing Daylight by Eugene 'O Kelly. The book is written with such sensibility, clarity, wisdom of life (and death) that I feel motivated to alter my perspectives and truly make a change in my own life. Many of the principles and values mentioned, I could learn and apply. But of course, the priorities of a dying man and a healthy person may differ in extremes. Guess that's where a balance ought to be striked. Always plan like a healthy man, yet spend each moment as if it may be the last. (wah.... how to do that sia...)

This book about a man embracing his death is nowhere near solemn or morbid for that matter, and the greatest lesson one may learn yet could be from understanding there's a closure in everything. Ironically, this excerpt is not about death, but about living life. (The excerpt that even lazy-ass grace could get this motivated to rack her brains, blog one whole chunk about it and feel like making a change about something.)

- " 'I had always been a great believer in commitment, in every aspect of life that mattered to me. Total commitment to marriage, to family... ... To me, commitment equaled sacrifice,maturity, morality, certainty- virtues all.. Unfortunately, though, commitment, particularly in the business world, had come to equal time. Too often, your commitment was routinely measured by how many hours your were willing to work. By how much time you would take from you family... ...commitment had come to mean reliability, proving that you'd been there already and promising to be there again. If you gave away huge amounts of time, then it followed that you had exhibited commitment. If you did not give so much time, then by definition your level of commitment was suspect. Time alone was the bellwether....'
'Yet...after my family and sleepwalked through the past couple of nightmarish weeks, I had come to wonder about the true nature of commitment. In fact it's not about time... not about realiability and predictability. Commitment is about depth. It's about effort. It's about passion. It's about wanting to be in a certain place, and not somewhere else. Of course time is involved; it would be naive and illogical to suggest otherwise. But commitment is best measured not by the time one is willing to give up but, more accurately, by the energy one wants to put in, by how present one is.'
'Once I came to this idea, I felt as if I were onto something. I could not control time. I had only partial control over my surroundings. What I could control was my energy. How I allocated it. How I used it in response to outside influences. This.. -guiding principle- would help me focus on what I needed to focus on. Consciousness, not commitment, was a better...word to describe what I was always trying to move toward, from here to the end.'"

- "No more living in the future. (Or the past..) It is -was- exhausting to live in a world that never exists. Also kind of silly, since we happen to be blessed with such a fascinatinng one right here, right now.'"

- "Living in the present moment was tremendously difficult. But it has to get easier, I told myself, if you've been given a death sentence.
Doesn't it?"

-"...if I were in the present moment, I would be aware only of the experience I was having, not of how this might be the last time I would experience this, ever..."


.
.
Right, I could go on forever with these excerpts and quotes. Go read the book. It's ranked beside "Mister God, This Is Anna" in my hit list of most inspiring books. Not as if I read a lot of books la.. but oh yes, I do read books other than Harry Potter.

If only we knew how to measure committment by intensity and consciousness, instead of time, the little things life would be simplified, made clearer and more enjoyable as we live the present moment.

I won't make any promises here, but I am inspired. =)


Footnote: ADHD kid, be here now, not out there anyhow. I don't believe I really need a hearing aid. Good night and adios for it's very late.

父亲节快乐。Happy Father's Day.

I love my 老斗 (Dad), even though lately he likes to wake me up with the blasting of his karaoke songs that echoes through both his and my room doors. It could have been worse... it could have been my mum's off key singing. Right now, he's somewhere out there in Rivervale Plaza performing for some 'Father's Day' singing competition. I'm sure he'll be bringing home a prize to show off tonight, and to add to his cluttered collection of trophies. Just what a 狗窝 (dog-homed) house needs. And I thought I was good with all my sport medals, he had to put me into place... And that's my dad for you, constantly trying to steal my limelight. I refuse to forgive him for his exclamation on my b'dae party. "平时讲话那么大声,现在唱歌这样小声。" (Normally talk so loud, now sing so soft).

But of course, this 'happy-go-lucky' disposition is not what all there is to my dad. On the Wednesday morning, I took a humbling lesson from him. We were talking about his retirement and was just going on about what he intends to do after those years of hard labor work. Then i asked him (due to the nature of my current job in landed properties), why don't he make an investment with his savings and let the money grow? Why not get a bigger house? He replied: "住这样都很开心了，那么大的房子干吗? 钱都够了，拿来投资又怕这个怕那个。多钱很多问题的." (Why need such a big house when we're happy staying like this? There's already enough money, if you invest them, you're constantly afraid of fluctuations. Too much money will create a lot of problems.)

When I heard what he said, I was rendered speechless. I'm utterly amazed. True, one may strike my dad off as 不上进 (not ambitious). But in my opinion, he is the one who has truly struck the gold. By being 知足 (satisfied), he lives his life happy and fulfilling and makes the most of what he has. What's the point of working so hard when you're not happy? What's the point of having so much money when you don't know what to do with it, when ultimately... you don't know what brings you true joy? Desire for luxury surely isn't the answer.

Many people always think my 老爸 is very silly and blur but i beg to differ.. Dad has come a long way. He nurtured 3 successful daughters (pretty much la) and 1 very demanding wife.. he started his business from scratch with his own hands when there were others putting him down. He is one very strong man who buries his scars deep so that we won't see and worry for him. He is so amazing. I'm forever thankful and blessed to have him. My sisters used to squabble over who has inherited more of Dad's genes and temperament. HAHA. I'm proud to be his daughter and certainly hope he is as proud of me.

老爸， 我爱你。
父亲节快乐.
=)

I love simple =)

I love the sound of my guitar.
I love the night.
I love animals.
I love my family.
I love my friends.
I love freedom.
=)

(And to quote Jason Mraz song...Life is wonderful)
"it takes no time to fall in love... but it takes you years to know what love is..."
Great song, great singer. I'd love to play the guitar like him.

Although I may have 2 senses failing, another 2 happen to be heightened - my tastebuds included - to compensate for whatever I'm shutting off from. I love to go without my glasses, see in negative spaces and kaleidoscope of colors, where the near and the far blends into shades of blurry colors and I'll be immersed in a world of my own, imagining how things look like. I love to look at faceless people and not be afraid of having to dodge their glances. I love being just a bit blind.

I love trilogies, yet sequels nowadays are always disappointing (Spiderman, Pirates, Shrek). Gone are the days of 'Back to the Future'.

But I still love my thrillogists. And now, back to my 'heroes'.

Just a little ... ...

Congrats Rach. Really happy for you. =) Training would be fun with you around. Been a long time since we were in the same training team actually. Hah.

I was pretty darn worried about the announcement actually. Didn't really think it bothered me that much until I was standing there. I felt my smile was plastered on all of a sudden. More of a sense of relief than happiness when I heard my name. Alas, my ego is intact this time. Almost. What to do but to do what I can from now on lor... Just learn as much from the coach as I can, while I still can.

Give it my best shot and keep no reservations?

Contemplating.

P/S: Gentle reminder. Jangan anyhow anyhow... I love my thrillogists. =)

for I have sinned...

Alas, the Sim with so much 'sim' (heart) has sinned. When the anger simmers, all is well. We recover with time. But today, I plead guilty to something else.

I have traded my old loves for new ones. Indeed, my fear of commitment is too real. I've been spending less and less time with my hubby ever since my new love came along. Sorry, lao gong, you bring music to my ears, but somehow we don't sing the same tune perfect despite the number of times we've been through. So right now, I've decided to have an affair with the one that gives me the adrenaline rush, the pair so bright and cheery, I fell too many times for...
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Muahahaha. So cool for what? After Sat's 'very-early-in-the-morning-and-I-can't-believe-I-woke-up-on-time' skating session at ECP with KK and tang2, I was possessed. I crave for that breeze blowing in my face, the adrenaline to stay constantly alert, the desire to master special moves, the falling and recovering from the bumps and ditches. Yellow is for courage, yellow is for hope, yellow is for joy. Yellow is for Livestrong. =) Thanks tang2. I wanna learn something new out of my stagnant netball 'pasttime'... I have and I still am.

Aside from the skating affair, splurging is my number 2 sin.. Even though I'm about as fat as a hippopotamus now, I've been buying clothes that I can only hope to fit into the few months down the road. No thanks to the illusion created that everything is cheap from the Great Singapore Sale season.. and I bought a Fossil watch that wasn't exactly on discount... hmmmm...

All this, when I'm earning only a measly $540 a month with the P.A job. The job where I have to lie more than George Bush does, through gritted teeth and knotted tongue. Luckily, things have been picking up since the adverts. Busy days they are, but I may finally earn my well-deserved commission. Bo pi let my bro-in-law close many deals. His family needs to eat and be taken care of... My sister has lost so much weight and Dovey is still very young. More importantly, I can't survive on winning mahjong money alone. True, I can sell Heroes VCD at $5 each. (After all, I'm still waiting for 'whatever' to finish burning so that I can watch on my DVD player in the comfort of my own bed before I sleep.) But look at the grueling number of hours my computer has to work through the nights for them, the number of msn messages I've ignored every morning I wake up to, and O... all those electricity bills... (but I don't pay for those, so that's ok.) Still, life is tough. I need money to buy my veniezia ice cream.. And what if I lose my mahjong games? Like how I lost that bet about the French Open today. What then? How am I going to pay for my cab fares?

Ok. Burn's done. And I'm officially dumping 'Lost' for 'Heroes'. Sorry Sawyer. I'm sad to have you leave me, and your lousy producers drag you down that 'forever-gonna-stay-mysterious' island. Allow my heroes put me to sleep tonight. For I need courage to work the next day.

P/S: Please pray for this sim's sin to be purged of unforgiving sorrow, and for my Ouxiang's win to triumph over Serena tomorrow.

Justine Henin
6pm SCV ch22. French Open. woohoo~

P/P/S: And I'm still jealous Jan share the same birthday as her on the 1st of June. But Happy Belated Birthday to you anyway. I was busy with work that day/night. I'm really sorry (and sad that) I missed (out on)the celebration.

K. My heroes are waiting for me. Ciaoz.

Oh, you mean I have a choice?

Many times people pass judgments too quickly, failing to see the other side of the story.

Many times stubbornness leads to misunderstandings and we piss off one another.

But the worst thing one can do is walking away, just 'cos she/he has given up trying...
and the closer the friend, the more it hurts.

There's always a giver and taker in any kind of relationship. You give some, you take some. Then sometimes, so much is taken and you don't realise it until you are already empty. What is there left to give? What is there left to hold on to? And this is the reason why people harden. The natural defence mechanism.

I was told (or so I thought) my greatest gift and asset is being able to soften that shell over and over again. Just so I could be able to trust, to be able to love, to be able to give. Then there comes a time where I'm emptied and I find no other sources to draw that energy from. And I begin to doubt my 'gift'. Perhaps I should be just a bit more selfish, just a bit more vindictive, just a bit more cunning. Ignorance, naivety and oblivion surely isn't bliss.

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I should just explain the scenario here, as I've been speaking in abstracts, and before that leads to anymore complications. Let me assure you that I'm not talking about anybody in particular. Just personal experiences (and some other friends') in general.

My anger has passed along with a few rantings.

If I had just gone back home straight after work, I wouldn't have a night of thinking to get through with. But then very 'smart' me recalled that Zoom has a game, so I changed my bus at Toa Payoh and got down to Kallang to support the team. Doesn't help that I was given into temptation to train with the younger ones. Doesn't help that their over-enthusiasm moved me. Doesn't help that my nsl team didn't make it into the top 4. Doesn't help that the Opens just returned from Samoa and are enjoying a movie at the cinema during the same time. Doesn't help that I'm not going to be in the World Champs team yet I'm doing weights to bulk up anyhow. Doesn't help that I have hormonal imbalance. Doesn't help the way that I'm treated during trainings. Doesn't help that the national coach allows the 'non-selected' and 'non-nsl-playing' to train with their clubs. Doesn't help that I'm in 'Air'. Doesn't help that hairline fractures are forming within the club. Doesn't help that my friends don't understand the situation. Doesn't help that people only see what they want to see. Doesn't help that I failed to fight for what I need, such nonsense I had to endure.

But it did help that I took the courage to pen this down in my otherwise pretty 'clean' blog. It will help if I know friends are willing to try and understand even if they couldn't make it alright. It will help knowing that once I go to sleep, tomorrow will be a better day.

P/S: I typed the title when I was still out of sorts. Perhaps I do have the choice, but I just lacked the courage.

Lovey Dovey

People, I'm in love. Not with ice cream, not with netball, not with diving... =) But first, let me talk abt my dive expedition.

Aside from names like Xena and Chihuahua, I earned a new alias, spiderwoman. In conjunction with the movie Spiderman 3 and in effort to raise its box office ranking after numerous critics and disappointments. Heh heh. Yea right. A diver named me that for walking around with my full body rashguard (aka bodysuit). He initially thought I was trying to flaunt my shapely figure with that body hugging suit, when in fact, I just wanted to keep the sandflies away. (The sandflies there are vicious. They literally feast on you.)

For the very 1st night dive that I led, we saw 2 cuttlefishes and a cute little boxfish. On top of that there were a number of eye candies.. the weekend had a whole group of 'angmohs'. I think they are either from UK's navy or army. There's one tt looks like Brandon Fraser, one that looks like that lead actor doctor from LOST, one that looks like Boromir from LOTR. For a while, I thought I was in Hollywood. LOL. Too bad I didn't get any of their contacts. O.. I saw 2 shooting stars on the boat ride there as well. It is one sweet escapade on temptation island! Muahahah.

Right right. All the above doesn't relate to the post title. The biggest surprise lay ahead when I came back from the trip.

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My sis got a DOG!!! It's so cute, I fell in love with it immediately. =) Talk about love at first sight. Muahaha. Been dropping by my sis's place every night ever since.

It's so small in my hands la~! Couldn't resist giving it a smooch. Hee.
Its name is Dovey. But I prefer to call it, 'Dobby' the house..... dog.
Cute ain't it?

Dovey (pronounced as 'DOE-VI' or dobby) is a female silky terrier. Though silky terriers ain't my fav. breed, Dovey is just irresistable la. She's 2months and 3 days old. And she'll grow old with me. Gee. I never knew I'm this lesbo.

Anyone who wants to see Dobby must make appointment in advance. Comes with a free night of stay over at my place. Food, accomodation, entertainment and mahjong included. *Depends on availability and first-come-first-serve basis. Act fast, before the open team comes back.

Till then, spiderman. Saturday, 19th May.

P/S: Another failed attempt at singing along with my hubby. But nevertheless, KL, this one is for you. =)

Revitalised

=) I'm back for Nike trainings after sooo long.. I have so much fun playing in a less stressful environment. So much fun shouting and jumping in the circle. I'm glad, I'm glad. I'm revitalised! Though I could do with more good conversations with the few of them. Especially Air would be playing National League far far away. Hopefully this 2 weeks will be enough time for me to recharge my interest and I'll be able to compete in the opens with renewed energy. Hmmmm....

Guess I'm not all that bitter about Samoa afterall, I needed this much more.

P/S: Dearest Inky, forgive my ignorance, really wish you could join us for training. I know you're busy and things ain't easy. But you're always on my mind. May this knowledge alone give you peace. JIA YOU!


Though this pic has got nothing to do with nike, and boy do I look fugly... It's 'Grouppix Galore' and everyone else looks nice(on Liyana's 21st-'anything-goes'-birthday. HAHA)

Until then, spiderman.

remember what 'Gracias' stands for.

ok. i'm being an idiot. jus needed to rant, to indulge myself. i'm ok now. Instead of looking at whoever that don't believe in me, I'm not doing justice to those who do. I have a 'fan club' and a number '1' fan after all. And these are the people who make me sane.

Since everyone else is ranting, why should I care?

I want to say this. I'm pissed. Life ain't easy. I ain't forever the optimist. I'm sad now, but I'll be happy tomorrow. If not, there's always the day after tomorrow. Nevertheless, just let me rant 'cos this is my turf and I say what I want regardless of whoever who reads this. I don't care if you think I'm childish or whatsoever. I dare you to judge me.

All because my wardrobe is pissing me off, while I'm scrounging for a non-existent tee which I lent to somebody and I can't remember who, and I don't have it with me, so I'm sure whoever borrowed it didn't return me, else I only have myself to blame. And all the ransacking for a damn trip that I ain't going anyway. And all because I'm caught in the middle of nowhere, being an adult where I can't act simply out of my own wishes just 'cos there are so many other underlying consequences you have to consider. And 'cos of people that wear masks and facades. And 'cos of people who don't believe in me. And 'cos I'm constantly trying to prove something and netball is not fun anymore. And 'cos I didn't tear for a teammate whom I thought I really care about and it makes me doubt my genuineness since everyone else is crying. And 'cos I have traded old friends for new ones and I want the old ones back. And 'cos I really hate feeling obligated. And 'cos I'm not 'free' anymore. Because... because...

o. What the hell? This will pass. Sleep it through. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Peace.

April Agony

Right. Even the blind knows that NSL season ain't exactly exciting for me. Needless to say, National stuff (team & league). Very fortunately, April is coming to an end. May there('ll) be a new start. Family is off to Malaysia till the 1st, May they be shocked by my new haircut. Wonder why I'm not there gambling life away instead of here playing my heart out - when it all amounts to nothing in the end. (quoted from a favorite song). At least I get to be the 'Qying' (pronounced as queeng) of the house now. Heh heh. Although I just lost a sock to a non-existent neighbor's balcony living a few floors down while hanging up the laundry. And that my friend, is how the sides of your socks keep missing. Maybe you ought to check your neighbor's balcony.

A good friend just reminded me of a quirk I used to have - eating pencil leads. Muahaha.. I kinda remember how they tasted in secondary school. Quite nice actually. Apparently, we were both depressed then. It was one of those things like if she carved herself up like wood relief, I'll poison myself like Juliet (& Romeo). And you thought you had it bad in secondary school. But hey, I probably needed extra iron/magnesium/lead in my system anyway. Speaking of weird eating habits, I recalled trying hamster's biscuits (on a dare). And I've eaten other weird stuff as well - though none as potent as pencil leads - like flower petals (when my sister was doing still-life painting). But that was only 'cos my sis said those were edible flowers. (I mean, chrysanthemum is a flower too, right?) Guess I've been a hungry kid since young. I should join that chef on discover travel and living channel that goes around the world eating weird stuff. The 'BHP' blood courses through my veins. - Life is short. Enjoy food. (Btw, today's dingtaifeng xiaolongbao was EXCELLENT, so was the yummy choc and icecream - although it doesn't compare to my love...) Thanks to skinny beauty, slim and kl - with their stomach of such small capacity - for their kind donation of glorious food. I'm not sorry for you having a friend like me.

I'm being crazily random. Was sounding a tat bit too pessimistic just now, so trying my hand at funny. Alas, I'm a failed comedian. I should be a scarecrow.

For now I'm just looking forward to the things lined up in May. Leave all my anguish in April. Going to get a life and... ... work. (starts tomorrow, so I better sleep early.) Set my biological clock right and go through the routined life.

O well. One needs to work to earn $$ right? One needs $$ to travel around right? One needs mundaneness to appreciate freedom once in a while right? And most importantly, one needs $$ to eat. =P And that is a statement. Not a question.

May'll be good. May'll be good. May'll be good.


P/S: Thanks Thrillogists for bearing with my outbursts. Thank you my other friends for listening. (even the one overseas who, may I add, pops by my blog occasionally to listen to my beautiful singing). muahahaha Honored am I the slacker who posts at a rate of 1/36days even when my fat ass is bumming around at home. =)