Wednesday, August 29, 2012

A Hoarder's Revelation

I am truly my father's daughter. I'm a karang guni by default. Once upon a time, I told myself to pack up my room but the vast amount effort required to sort all my possessions turns out to be a daunting task. Not that that's anything new. Quite recently, I was fanatically catching TLC channel's documentary about hoarders... mostly to scare myself into packing up my room... well... it didn't work one bit. In fact, I ended up with the mindset that there are people way worse than me. Hey, I'm not that bad after all! So there goes another failed attempt at inspiring myself to move my fat arse...

Seems that I'll face my impending death from being buried alive like that hoarders' documentary. No, I'm not proud of it. Tidying up is definitely not my forte. Coupled with my tendency to hold nostalgic values to things, throwing stuff away is just too...cruel.

Yes, Sailormoon is a passe... Many of my clothes won't fit half my thighs or boobs for that matter... Wearing bad badtz maru shirt or wonder woman undies is no longer appropriate for a 27 year old...  Call me sentimental, but I just can't bear to part with them. Gee... I'm beginning to sound like those hoarders that live with 100 cats. It's not that bad an idea considering that I can get my few moments of fame on TV. Bad publicity is still publicity right? The chances of me appearing on TV could actually be higher than the idea of me sieving through my horde of 'treasured collection'. So meanwhile, I'm using all my eye power to clear the clutter. Much like Cyclops, I possess the ability to zap away the junk on command, or more accurately, displace them into another corner, Jean Grey style.

Having said, my true superpower, in all honesty, is to destroy things. I truly regret that I do not possess the talent to save the world like Batman. Quite the opposite. In fact, I bear an uncanny resemblance to the villain, Bane. "I am _____ (fill in appropriate noun, eg. Gotham) 's reckoning." We share the same traits to bring chaos (oh, and of course, to walk through walls - or rather, on my part, into them). We are the catalyst to the apocalypse. I have the ability to terminate impossible objects I set my sights on. True story. In fact, the documentary Destroyed in Seconds features my life journey.. Oh, the very tale of my drama-mama existence is depicted through documentaries. You can trust me to put anything to the ultimate test, like the Mythbusters. Indeed, I have found a career prospect that I can excel in. Alas! In this world where there's no place for my great powers of destruction, my true calling lies in being a professional product tester. If the product is 'Grace-proof', it sure is 'anything-proof'. Oh, I can write a review while I'm at it. Put some of the things that I've learned in school into practical use. Yay!

And then... school started. Hold that career plan while I focus in my meagre efforts to pull through my final year studies.

So what triggers this blog post, you may wonder... Certainly, not a sudden stroke of inspiration to motivate myself in the new term, that ship has long sailed. No sire, not in the books of the lethal combination of a procrastinating terminator. Truth be told, the reason I started spouting nonsense in this barren blog is simply... out of boredom. I was |this| close to hanging myself from the ceiling aside from the fact that it will not work since the walls are more likely to collapse from my substantial figure. So here I am, in this long forsaken place, to save myself from the mundanes of life and my dying sense of humor. There is simply nothing to watch on TV anymore. I have lost all interest in the digital entertainment since the last season of The Big Bang Theory ended. No other drama or comedy can entertain and engage me the way Sheldon does. I can no longer bear the lack of intellectual stimulation from mediocre shows. In fact, I became so bored, I started fixing and reshuffling things around my room. One thing leads to another, here I'm blogging... and then... wouldn't you have it, I'm... cleaning up!

Holy cow, I am touched by a miracle! Kudos to an overseas friend, an empty pocket and a rare workout,  I'm awash with a renewed sense of accomplishment. Oh yea^~!