Jit pu sai + Jit pu sai = JIT DUA PU SAI

Shit happens. I've taken shit before in life so this shit is nothing.
As the Beatles sing, "Take a sad song and make it better."
And here I am sitting my big fat ass at home "taking a sad movie and making it better".

Broadening my perspective in the still of the night by burping at strangers after a midnight bus ride, amusing myself with the rhythmic steps to the random music i was listening to, and walking with the friendly ghosts while enjoying the scenery on my way home. So far so good.

Grateful to have friends who stay around no matter what (whether in mind, in heart or in spirt - no pun intended). Thanks to all my dear friends: for the javachip & muffin - a timely arrival at my time of need, (aside from the part that I was friggin' hungry), the 'take-forever-to-upload' songs (and the 'mushier-than-campbell-mushroom-soup' exchange on msn), the thrillogist's 'sunday-plan-distraction' (whether you knew it or not), the cheesecake surprise (or rather, 'meant-to-be-a-surprise' surprise.. but thanks for the very sweet thought anyway), the lovely smses sent that give me strength (you do it so right too), the late night talk at waterfront (and for reminding me the anger management song)... and all others for your silent support - doesn't matter if I was understood. And Oppih too for your physical prescence(what will I do without you?).

Gracias forever.



Life is short. Soon I'll cease wallowing in self pity, stop giving in to my own emotions, get tired of being vindictive altogether... and live my life simply - oblivious to all the bad in the world. I am getting dark enough already (not just from the sun).

Meanwhile, I'll take a sad song and make it better.

'Till August ends.

Pensieved

gracias.

Pandora's box

Desperately wanted to put something positive here. But I can't gather the strength to. Going in circles again. Sibei jialat.

I know what I have to do. Life is short - ride the highs, sail the lows. Without the lows, there wouldn't be the highs. But I'm in a phase of "without-the-highs,-there-would-be-no-lows" mindset right now. Worry not 'cos it's only a matter of time to heal. Scars will be there to remind us of the strength we are capable of.

Like my mentor said.. "sometimes things seem difficult... but there's only one way out and that's to try to see the good it brings. nothing is ever achieved without pain. Be strong, be unshakable, be at peace. because there's so much more to life and you're loved."

Thank you. Your insight's amazing. You have no idea how your words moved me then and that how much I need them now for an entirely different matter.

I'm still in the process of building my foundations, so just a little vulnerable. At least the debris is more or less cleared.

那被!

难得我会在这里大声的嚷嚷。
突然间很想骂粗话。
突然间很想学孙悟空在世间大闹一场。
突然间很想对世界宣告我很不高興。
突然间又没有自由了。
突然间失去了心中的平静。

再突然间,又想我是不是未免太小题大做了?
有多少人多么希望能站在我的立场上。
或許我应该收敛一下.
也許這就是瑛琪所說的..."as good as it gets".

可是你不是我.
我不喜歡做後補.
我渴望的自由,你了解嗎?
已經做好的決定又要因此而改變.
想離開卻又不能走.我厭倦了這種沒有選擇的余地.
我的人生就仿彿被矇上了一片務.
永遠都看不到自己的方向.
沈巧盈, 你就永遠被人牽著鼻子走!

糖,你猜中了. 要過了幾天才能感覺到痛.雖然這跟你所說的不同.
旁觀者一定會視我作為小孩子.
"有機會就把握啊!埋怨這樣多幹嗎?"
..可是我的心已經不在了. 我已經待得不開心了.
怎能"開心就好?"

小孩子!埋怨夠了.嚷嚷夠了.
明早睡一覺起來心情一定會有改進.
明天去吹吹海風,尋找生活的另一種開心.
我的小黃臉終于能再次派上用場,重出江湖!

Aftermath

passing cars, passing clouds, passing showers... passing perth

It was never a question of ability, only the power of will.
Really wasn't whether I can or not, but all a matter of wanting or not.

As much as one comes to loving oneself, I ought to know when to give myself a hardER time.

Moving on to a bigger picture, -passing the gray clouds overhead-, to live a happier life.
=)

Perth

I like the blue sky with its vivid and contrasting clouds here.
I like the chilly breeze under the bright sun here.
I like the cold night and the pretty moon sitting just outside my balcony.

Even if things may not be working my way, I'm plain glad to be here. No high hopes for anything anyway, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to work hard still. Ought to enjoy the moment and cast away distracting thoughts. Gonna be here right now, not the past nor the future.

I love where I am.