Miracle

Was it the moon I was talking to last nite - my confidant after a bad day, a terrible game, a sense of dread for what I'm to expect the following day?
Was it the stars I was admiring while sitting at the playground, humming them tunes from my mp3 player?
Was it the sky I was thanking that, with its beauty and vastness, enchanted me and emptied the worries and doubts I had in my mind yesterday?

Was it the date, today, 16/12/2005, 1month and 10days after my birthday?
Was it the LRT train number '26' that I took this noon?
Was it the number of stations between Outram MRT (12 stops) and Sengkang MRT (NE16)?
Was it the 4 of us watching movie on seats row D in cinema 4?
Was it the fact that 16 minus 12 is equals to 4?
Was it my parents presence on the last day of the selection trials?
Was it the good luck wishes I had from friends around?

Whichever, whoever and whatever you are.. I thank you with all my heart. I was proven wrong 'bt impossibilities. And I never felt happier to be wrong.

A surprise that catches you completely off guarded is TREMENDOUS. I was dumbfounded when I heard Vicki's voice over my phone. (An unknown number, a voice I'd never expect to hear.) I was at a loss for words, I didn't know how to react. A shock. A complete dream. So light, I felt like I'm flying. So surreal, I needed a hug from Yingqi to assure me it's not my time in heaven yet. So happy, I couldn't stop smiling to myself, despite stares from strangers, on my journey back home. Somehow I still couldn't stop thinking that it's all a dream.. It's a dream indeed. A dream come true. I needed to rejoice out loud to feel my presence in reality. The chance came when the LRT I took home was empty. -I was the only passenger. I was screaming and jumping for joy in the train like a mad woman, it could be the same kind of adrenaline I might have experienced if I won Singapore Idol. If there were security cameras in the train, they might have dispatched a guard from the control station to send me to woodbridge.- ME??! playing for the singapore OPEN team??! COMMONWEALTH games? It took me quite some time to fully register what this all means.. what I'm about to experience. Remember those sheets of papers in sec sch/ age grp squads where you have to fill up what are your goals are in Netball? My long term goal was to play for the Open team and play overseas in the World Champs. It's a mix of nostalgia and pride to look back on how far my passion has taken me to. The fact that I dared to dream big when I was small and am on the way to fufil that dream right now. It feels... more than exhilarating. Too good to be true.

NEVER did I even dare to dream of a chance to get into the Open team and play the Commonwealth Games. After the Asian Champs selections, with the pain still vivid in my mind, I couldn't and wouldn't even raise my hopes. I was playing/training hard as I could, yet, with hope waning, there's only so much mental strength can take me through. I was so desperate as to even plead my parents to come and watch me for the game at the last selection trial - "Just any form of motivation. To watch me play in the opens for the last time," I thought to myself. - There's simply no chance. I gave myself 10% of hope.

THIS is more than just a pleasant surprise. I held so much pride breaking the news to my family.. I cried happy tears. They taste bittersweet and I love them (like dark chocolates). When was the last time you had happy tears? My second last was the night with Zpig and moZ. I'll never forget. And I'll remember today too - 3rd earhole on my left ear. The day I'm touched by a miracle. =)

I am so happy and motivated, I feel that I can do anything right now. I'm charged with extra adrenaline, ecstasy, hyperenergy and inspiration to do my studies well and keep them on track before I go for any form of trainings, go long runs to lose weight and gain stamina, will myself to work hard no matter how tired I am during games and trainings, put in my uttermost effort to be a good captain/vice-captain, be filled with everlasting energy to encourage my teammates and pull up their morale... Oh..~ all the things I can do... Can you feel my joy? This is the best Christmas present. Ever.

Thank you Moon. You bring the brightest light and lit the darkest night. You are the miracle.

P/S: Thank you to you, the ones who shared my joy.